A Friend that sticks closer than a Brother
September 19, 2021
Commentary
Don’t pass judgment until you are fully informed (v. 13). Jumping to conclusions before hearing the facts are unwise and will bring a person to shame. Give yourself the three-way test before speaking about someone: Is it kind? Is it necessary? Is it true? Being cheerful helps when we are sick, but nothing helps when we give up (v. 14). Everyone with good sense wants to learn (v. 15). A gift will get you in to see anyone (v. 16). Most men can make a good case for themselves, if left alone so there is wisdom in hearing both parties face to face (v. 17). To decide a case on one-sided testimony will almost always result in bad judgment and/or unfair verdict. This is true of parents when their children argue. Drawing straws is one way to settle a difficult case (v. 18).
To win a brother back who has been offended is more difficult than to subdue a heavily fortified city (v. 19). Wounded pride and an unwillingness to view a matter in relation to God makes it very difficult to restore the friendship of offended brothers. However, there are few quarrels that could not be settled if both parties were ready to meet quietly before the Lord and talk out their differences and ask for forgiveness. Make your words good; you will be glad you did (v. 20). Words can bring death or life! Talk too much, and you will eat everything you say (v. 21). A man’s greatest treasure is his wife; she is a gift from the Lord (v. 22). The poor must beg for help, but the rich can give a harsh reply (v. 23). Some friends don’t help, but a true friend is closer than your own family (v. 24). We all need friends who will stick close, listen, care and offer help when needed, in good times and in bad.
Application
Instead of wishing I could find a true friend I just need to seek to become one. There are people who need my friendship.
Proverbs 18:13– 24 (NET)
13 The one who gives an answer before he listens — that is his folly and his shame.
14 A person’s spirit sustains him through sickness— but who can bear a crushed spirit?
15 The discerning person acquires knowledge, and the wise person seeks knowledge.
16 A person’s gift makes room for him, and leads him before important people.
17 The first to state his case seems right, until his opponent begins to cross-examine him.
18 A toss of a coin ends disputes, and settles the issue between strong opponents.
19 A relative offended is harder to reach than a strong city, and disputes are like the barred gates of a fortified citadel.
20 From the fruit of a person’s mouth his stomach will be satisfied, with the product of his lips he will be satisfied.
21 Death and life are in the power of the tongue, and those who love its use will eat its fruit.
22 The one who has found a good wife has found what goodness is, and obtained a delightful gift from the Lord.
23 A poor person makes supplications, but a rich man answers harshly.
24 There are companions who harm one another, but there is a friend who sticks closer than a brother.
Illustration: Charles Dickens Example of Ultimate in Friendship
A story is told about Charles Darnay and Sydney Carton who become friends. Darnay, a young Frenchman, is thrown into a dungeon and faces the guillotine. Carton, a wasted lawyer is finishing his life as a loose-living individual in England. Carton hears of Darnay’s imprisonment and through a chain of events gets into the dungeon and changes garments with Darnay who escapes. The next morning Sydney Carton makes his way up the steps that lead to the guillotine. As the writer tells his story he says, “Greater love has no one than this, that one lay down his life for his friend” (John 15:13). A classic example of the ultimate in Friendship. (Charles Dickens – A Tale of Two Cities).