Amnon Disgraces Tamar
April 18, 2020
Commentary
Absalom, son of David, had a beautiful sister named Tamar. Amnon, David’s son also and Absalom’s brother, fell in love with Tamar his half-sister (vv. 1-6). Frustrated because he failed to win her favor, Amnon sought the counsel of his cousin Jonadab. He advised Amnon to pretend to be ill and then to plead with his father to have Tamar bake him bread and bring it to him. Tamar followed her father’s instruction and after she had prepared the bread and brought it to him, Amnon told her to dismiss all the servants. Then, despite her urgent pleading, he grabbed her and raped her (vv. 7-14). Such loss of a maiden’s virginity was an unbearable curse in Israel (Deut. 22:13–21). Moreover, such relationships between half brothers and sisters were strictly forbidden. Those guilty of such things were to be cut off from the community (Lev. 20:17). In this case, of course, Tamar was not guilty since she had been assaulted by Amnon (Deut. 22:25–29).
Because of what Ammon had done, he now hated Tamar more than he had previously loved her (vv. 15-19). This indicates that his original feelings had not been love but only lust. To make matters worse and in further violation of the Law, Amnon sent Tamar away. This shows how he not only wanted to have her gone from his presence but he had no desire to assume responsibility of her as a bride. He had humbled a virgin and the Law demanded that he marry her (Deut. 22:29).
When Absalom heard about what happened to Tamar he was angry and hated Amnon. He counseled his sister to remain silent about the matter and to stay at his house (v. 20). David somehow heard what had happened, and though he was furious he did not invoke the penalty prescribed by the Law (vv. 21-22). Perhaps this was because Amnon was his oldest son.
Application
If situations like this should ever arise in my life it will never improve matters by sweeping it under the rug. Sins always need to be confessed and issues reconciled as much as possible.
2 Samuel 13:1– 22 (NET)
1 Now David’s son Absalom had a beautiful sister named Tamar. In the course of time David’s son Amnon fell madly in love with her. 2 But Amnon became frustrated because he was so lovesick over his sister Tamar. For she was a virgin, and to Amnon it seemed out of the question to do anything to her.
3 Now Amnon had a friend named Jonadab, the son of David’s brother Shimeah. Jonadab was a very crafty man. 4 He asked Amnon, “Why are you, the king’s son, so depressed every morning? Can’t you tell me?” So Amnon said to him, “I’m in love with Tamar the sister of my brother Absalom.” 5 Jonadab replied to him, “Lie down on your bed and pretend to be sick. When your father comes in to see you, say to him, ‘Please let my sister Tamar come in so she can fix some food for me. Let her prepare the food in my sight so I can watch. Then I will eat from her hand.’”
6 So Amnon lay down and pretended to be sick. When the king came in to see him, Amnon said to the king, “Please let my sister Tamar come in so she can make a couple of cakes in my sight. Then I will eat from her hand.”
7 So David sent Tamar to the house saying, “Please go to the house of Amnon your brother and prepare some food for him.” 8 So Tamar went to the house of Amnon her brother, who was lying down. She took the dough, kneaded it, made some cakes while he watched, and baked them. 9 But when she took the pan and set it before him, he refused to eat. Instead Amnon said, “Get everyone out of here!” So everyone left.
10 Then Amnon said to Tamar, “Bring the cakes into the bedroom; then I will eat from your hand.” So Tamar took the cakes that she had prepared and brought them to her brother Amnon in the bedroom. 11 As she brought them to him to eat, he grabbed her and said to her, “Come on! Get in bed with me, my sister!”
12 But she said to him, “No, my brother! Don’t humiliate me! This just isn’t done in Israel! Don’t do this foolish thing! 13 How could I ever be rid of my humiliation? And you would be considered one of the fools in Israel! Just speak to the king, for he will not withhold me from you.” 14 But he refused to listen to her. He overpowered her and humiliated her by raping her. 15 Then Amnon greatly despised her. His disdain toward her surpassed the love he had previously felt toward her. Amnon said to her, “Get up and leave!”
16 But she said to him, “No I won’t, for sending me away now would be worse than what you did to me earlier!” But he refused to listen to her. 17 He called his personal attendant and said to him, “Take this woman out of my sight and lock the door behind her!” 18 (Now she was wearing a long robe, for this is what the king’s virgin daughters used to wear.) So Amnon’s attendant removed her and bolted the door behind her. 19 Then Tamar put ashes on her head and tore the long robe she was wearing. She put her hands on her head and went on her way, wailing as she went.
20 Her brother Absalom said to her, “Was Amnon your brother with you? Now be quiet, my sister. He is your brother. Don’t take it so seriously!” Tamar, devastated, lived in the house of her brother Absalom.
21 Now King David heard about all these things and was very angry. 22 But Absalom said nothing to Amnon, either bad or good, yet Absalom hated Amnon because he had humiliated his sister Tamar.